"What are you thinking?" Nothing," he said softly, still refusing to look at her."Bullshit," she said sternly. "Today we're clearing the air so don't hold back on me, Zach Morgan!" Please," she begged."It's just..." he stammered, trying to phrase his question as gently as possible. "Look, I saw you when you were with those three guys. You were in heaven. How can you ever look at a guy from now on and tell him you'd be satisfied with only him?"She was silent for a moment."You're wrong, it wasn't heaven," she said in a steady, unfaltering voice. "It was a high just like any other drug. Even though I was pretty out of it, I remember that night. I remember enjoying it and begging for more. I was lonely and in a bad marriage and had let my guard down."But what wasn't on that DVD was what that night did to me. It didn't show the shame and regret I've felt for years, knowing I allowed it to happen. I know some women wouldn't feel that way, but I do. That's not me and I've had to deal with. 'Then she handed it back to him. "What is it you're trying to accomplishhere?"Jay rolled his shoulders, the way he did whenever he felt under attack."I'm not sure I understand what you're saying." She saw the editor lookhim up and down again. He had worn jeans, a black button-down shirt andboots. He thought it made him look more professional. He could imaginehis mother asking why he wasn't wearing a suit. To her, you wore a suitto an interview. When he worked at Seven Springs, his mother had madehim wear a shirt and tie to apply and the hiring manager looked at himand laughed. On the other hand, he had gotten the job."What is it you're trying to accomplish here?" she said, in the same toneSister Margaret used to use in 6th grade on Kevin Riley, the slow kid."I see a lot of overly arty shots that we couldn't use, and then a bunchof stuff that belongs in a high school yearbook."He felt ashamed and angry. "I, uh..."She snickered. "I know you won all kinds of collegiate awards. .
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